So, Aleena’s due date was November 15, 2014. As this day gets closer and closer, my anxiety and sadness are coming to visit more frequently. Maybe it’s because I feel like she should still be here but really her due date will mark another month that she’s been gone. Maybe I am worried that everyone else is already forgetting about her and moving on, yet I’m still stuck. Maybe I’m just missing her more now because this is another event that she should have been apart of but won’t get that chance. Or maybe I’m just being crazy and need to suck it up. Right?
NO, that’s not right! It has truly amazed me and made me so sad through this journey, hearing some of the things that people have said to me and Aleena’s Daddy that have hurt us so bad. For example, we had someone tell us that we should be thankful that Aleena only lived for a very short time because then we didn’t have to become too attached to her. This statement really shocked me, especially because it came from someone who has kids of their own! OF COURSE WE WERE ATTACHED TO HER! Anyone who is a parent should understand that we became attached the moment we saw that positive pregnancy test. We spent 22 weeks thinking our baby was healthy and planning our future with her in it! Then, we find out that our sweet angel won’t survive and we have to spend the rest of our pregnancy loving her as much as possible because that’s the only time that we have with her. And then the moment she was born she stole every inch of our hearts and we had to try and give her all of the love in the world and then watch her slip away! I had a comment on social media saying that my baby girl was ugly and that the picture of her was offending. I have had people (more than one) say we should feel lucky that we can always try again, as if that makes it easier. During my pregnancy, I had someone that I considered a friend ask if I was sure I wanted to continue with my pregnancy knowing that something was wrong with her. Now I know that some people choose to end their pregnancy in a situation like ours and that , that is their personal choice to make ( a topic for another day), but anyone who knows us should have known that we would never even consider that an option! These are only a few of the ridiculous comments made to us through this journey and let me just say, if you are going through a similar situation, I am so sorry in advance for all of the horrible things that will come out of peoples’ mouths, but you can’t fix stupid, all you can do is try to ignore it. But that won’t make the comments hurt any less. The only thing that kept me going and is still keeping me going is knowing that it doesn’t matter what they say, I know what’s best for me, my daughter, my family, my health and our situation! I just had to keep in mind that their comments came from stupidity and ignorance. I’m going to do whatever I feel is best even if nobody agrees or stands behind me! I want my daughter to look down from Heaven and be proud of how I’m doing and what I’m doing. That’s what keeps me going in times like this when I’m missing her more than I have ever missed anything or anyone in my entire life. She may be gone now, but she will always be a part of me! She is still my little girl and if someone doesn’t understand that then I don’t need them, their hurtful comments and opinions, or their ignorance in my life!
In Loving Memory Of
Aleena Kay Patton